Couple embracing by a waterfront with calm water and distant shore under clear sky.

Do You Believe In Forever?

When you hear the word "Forever", what comes to mind?

It sounds like a simple question, especially for married couples. Forever is a word we use a lot when we talk about love and marriage. We promise forever. We sing about forever. We buy anniversary cards that say forever. And many of us stood before God, family, and friends and promised to love each other "till death do us part."

But what does forever really mean to you?

I started thinking more about that question recently because of a good friend who passed away during COVID. His wife passed away not long ago, and when I heard the news, one of my immediate thoughts was: They're together again.

Then another thought came to me. What does "till death do us part," really mean? I'm not looking to settle what marriage looks like in heaven. That isn't really what got me thinking. What stayed with me was how naturally I thought of their relationship as continuing beyond the years they shared on earth. That made me wonder: How do married couples define forever?

So I asked some husbands and wives one simple question:

"Define Forever."

Here are some of their answers:

"All of my life."

"Together. Team. Lovable. Blended. Eternity. Always."

"I believe that FOREVER is a covenant with my spouse that no matter what happens as we journey through various seasons of life, we are committed to continue to choose each other."

One person saw it differently:

"From a Christian perspective, only death can sever the marital bond. The vows say 'till death do us part,' so, to me, 'forever' means until this earthly life is over."

Others said:

"Forever: 'I love doing Life with You!'"

"Lasting throughout time with no end."

And then there was this one:

"Work."

That last one made me smile.

Forever does take work. Not miserable work. Not the kind of work that makes marriage sound like a burden. It is the work of learning each other, forgiving each other, adjusting when life changes, talking when it would be easier not to, and figuring out how to stay connected as the years go by.

That one-word answer stayed with me.

I often share something with couples when we talk about staying together. When you really start thinking in terms of forever, your focus changes.

The question stops being: "IF are we going to make it?" And becomes:

"HOW are we going to make it?"

That is a very different way to look at marriage.

When something hard happens, the question becomes: How are we going to get through this?

When we disagree... how are we going to work through it?

When life changes... how are we going to adjust?

When we feel disconnected... how are we going to find our way back to each other? How do we keep choosing us?

None of this means marriage is easy. It doesn't mean every problem gets solved quickly or every season feels good. It simply means the conversation starts in a different place.